RealMental

People call me/I call myself Abby.

I see myself as nobody important, really.

If I thought you cared and you were listening, I would tell you what’s on my mind. How I feel. How much I care about you, perhaps.

I am struggling with Depression.

Something I have been keeping a secret is I feel like I’m losing you. I’m losing my best friend to….her.

I love Photography. Acting. Singing.

I want people to know I take pictures explaining my mind, moods, etc. Lots of the time…my Facebook fan page is here.

And here is my Flickr.

People call me/I call myself Majarani.

I see myself as Strong, fierce, protective, hard-working, dedicated, loving, patient, creative, artistic, talented, a survivor.

If I thought you cared and you were listening, I would tell you I’m conflicted. I can’t make a decision- even if it’s what toppings I want on my pizza, let alone what I want for the rest of my life to be meaningful and fulfilling.

I am struggling with PTSD, making myself the priority, making the happy on the outside appear on the inside, trusting people.

Something I have been keeping a secret is my personal blog.

I am trying to think positive and something I’m good at is horses- riding, training, caring for. I’m pretty good at singing, drawing. I am an excellent student, I love to learn.

I love to learn, to read, to ride, to sing, to play, to laugh, my farm. my puppies. Most of all, my sister.

People call me/I call myself Laura.

I see myself as scatter-brained but loving. And loved.

If I thought you cared and you were listening, I would tell you I have a bipolar depression and anxiety disorder diagnosis. Sometimes I wonder if the drugs are working, or if it’s a misdiagnosis because I feel pretty good these days. Then I forget to eat or take my meds or I drink too much and I fall down the hole again. Some days I want to do so many things, and others I want to do nothing but sleep. I can’t focus on getting good at one thing, or getting one thing done well. Why can some people manage and lead well but other struggle?

I am struggling with so much distraction. And I eat too much to soothe my anger and frustration. I want to get unstuck and feel untrapped.

Something I have been keeping a secret is how upset it makes me that I don’t have a child, and how I am so frustrated with my husband. I would like to adopt a child but he has said that is a deal breaker. I have examined, at length, why I want a child so much. Is it selfish to want a kid? Is it selfish to not want to raise a child? I’m not right with this. I put on a happy face to make my friends feel comfortable, my husband happy, and my parents satisfied.

I am trying to think positive and something I’m good at is connecting people. And I love learning new things and meeting new people. Pretty simple.

People call me/I call myself Lo.

I see myself as dependent, naive, soft, compassionate, articulate, intelligent, creative, analytical, volatile, short-tempered, flawed, clever, sophisticated, lazy, bored, gifted, artistic, funny, wounded, vulnerable, loving, beautiful, ugly, opinionated, educated, habitual, afraid, strong-willed, tender-hearted, sensitive, precocious, conflicted

If I thought you cared and you were listening, I would tell you i rarely let on the depths to which i am struggling, i am lying when i say i don’t regret the past 6 years because they have made me a better person (though they have), i hate being alone, it really hurts when you tell me that it is my fault that i am in this situation and/or that if i “really wanted to recover” i just would.

I am struggling with anorexia nervosa, which goes back and forth between the two subtypes – purging and non-purging; a body riddled with damage from the eating disorder – including a stomach that barely digests food and a mouth full of veneers to protect the teeth underneath that no longer have any enamel; anxiety; depression; individuating from my family into the 25 year adult i feel pressure to be and guilt for not being; ocd; perfectionism; a dysfunctional family system; limited resources

Something I have been keeping a secret is i have not been gaining weight like i’ve been telling my family; in fact, i am still at 77% of ideal body weight. most likely due to the fact that i drink half of a can of red bull cola during the day and one mixed drink at night. if i eat anything, (which i won’t, at least not before 9 pm) either i purge, or i eat from a very short list of food i feel comfortable consuming – immediately before i go to sleep at night. because it terrifies me to eat at any other time of the day and keep it down.

I am trying to think positive and something I’m good at is i am good at many things. here are some – writing – both original content and copy editing, languages, art, elaborate gift-wrapping, ad copywriting, math, test taking of all varieties – essay, multiple choice, standardized, school in general, articulating myself, helping others with eating disorder recovery, analyzing, instigating, motivating, encouraging, loving

I love my mom, my little sister, my dad, my best friends, laughter, the internet, frozen tropical drinks, new gas stations, staying in hotels, roller coasters, marlboro lights, thrift stores, photo booths and polaroids, catch phrase, scrabble, games in general, receiving emails, text messages, letters and packages, buying random gifts for people i love, wrapping all of the presents at christmas, affirmations, louise hay books… i love so much, i will stop here.

I want people to know more than i can express in this box. let’s pick an easy one – eating disorders are not a choice, a lifestyle, a habit, or a fad. eating disorders are complex, multi-faceted, deep-rooted life-threatening illnesses that arise as a combination of factors – genetic, cultural, experiential, environmental, etc. men and women who suffer from or struggle to recover from eating disorders are not inherently vapid. they are often incredibly intelligent, highly sensitive individuals and many of us want to get better just as much as you tell us to. it’s just hard. really. fucking. hard.

People call me/I call myself Jen/Jenny/Jennifer.

I see myself as a feminist, a person interested in progress (and sometimes politics), a sister, a friend, and a survivor (and though, I’d prefer a different term for that one, it fits).

If I thought you cared and you were listening, I would tell you how lonely I really am, despite the smile on my face.

I am struggling with self-hatred…Schizophrenia…being an “other” in a world not built for “others”…wanting to do so much that I lack the clear mind required to accomplish…feeling like a failure because I haven’t. finished. college. and I’m 34. years. old. and it’s pathetic.

Something I have been keeping a secret is I hear voices while I’m at work, and no one at work knows.

I am trying to think positive and something I’m good at is keeping a blog (does that count?), taking care of my little apartment and my cat (housework being something I couldn’t manage in the past, for great lengths of time), being a true friend.

I love activism, writing, laughter, and having hope.

I want people to know the world is not a fair or equal playing field for people who live with mental illnesses, but we are still an integral part of this great, big human experiment, with much to offer.

People call me/I call myself Allison.

I see myself as a very fortunate young woman who rarely feels fortunate. A hypocrite who can’t stand hypocrites. A very flawed person, even though my family thinks I’m a perfect angel. Insane or crazy (or just a lazy bitch), instead of mentally ill. Desperate… for too many things to name.

If I thought you cared and you were listening, I would tell you that I really don’t know how to function in life without someone to depend on. I would tell you that I need to love and to be loved, but I’m terrified of putting my heart and health on the line… especially since neither is healed yet.

I am struggling with finding my place in my new environment. I’m looking for a place to fit in, with my new job, my new town, my new state, my new home, my new (lack of) friends.

I am struggling with getting out of bed in the morning.

Something I have been keeping a secret is that even though I often talk about the pain this last year has brought me and how ashamed I am of myself, I think I would do it all the same if given the opportunity.

I am trying to think positive and something I’m good at is keeping a clear head during pressured situations — others’ and my own, interestingly enough.

I love almost nothing these days. I find little pleasure in anything. I seem to love what brings me the most pain. Not intentionally, of course.

I want people to know that even though I feel so terrible, I still have the tiniest flicker of hope at something better.

People call me/I call myself Mandy.

I see myself as very confused. Hopefully that’s because I’m too smart for my own good.

If I thought you cared and you were listening, I would tell you how badly I need someone to understand me and help me to figure myself out because I don’t even know who I am, all I know is pain.

I am struggling with insecurity and control issues that are taking over my relationship and my life.

Something I have been keeping a secret is how sad I really am. If anyone who loved me knew how much I hurt everyday, their hearts would break for me, I know it.

I am trying to think positive and something I’m good at is, oddly enough, I’m great at giving others advice. I just cant step back and recognize my own problems as they are so I can change them.

I love my daughter, my boyfriend, my cat, and my family more than anything in the world.

I want people to know that not everyone who looks good on the outside feels good inside. The people you might consider attractive and strive to look like might be more insecure than you ever imagined.