Six weeks ago, we were back at the start of another loop. Since then, we’ve gotten a new diagnosis (Pervasive Developmental Disorder- Not Otherwise Specified), changed schools (withdrew from the private school to enroll in our home middle school), another hospitalization (shorter duration this time) and acceptance into the county’s transitional program. The Bridges program is for students with special education/emotional disturbance needs and serves the goal of fully identifying the educational protocols and services needed to get students back into the least restrictive environment (hopefully their home school, but sometimes a regional school that is one of the comprehensive schools with some additional resources available- there aren’t enough resources for every school to have them, but it’s more inclusive/less restrictive than a specialized school).  We are continuing to use the intensive outpatient program that we’ve used off and on since July, even though I am starting to question its effectiveness, since there isn’t another program of its kind anywhere else in the state.

She wants to be in school. She really wants to be in the comprehensive school that is in our neighborhood. Kids with PDD tend to have some of the same behaviors and social difficulties that kids with Aspberger’s Symdrome have. The subtle difference lies in the fact that AS kids don’t seem to understand why the lack of social interaction is a problem, while PDD kids want more than anything to have friends and be like every other kid their age.

For years, I thought I wanted my daughter to be special. Now that she aches so hard to be typical, I find myself wishing she could put some of that specialness aside until she’s old enough to appreciate how wonderful being atypical might be.