RealMental

originally uploaded by Mr McSquishyface.

79 – fallow, originally uploaded by not kafka.

115/365- I’d like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve, originally uploaded by annika larson.

beautiful morning, huh, originally uploaded by discochaos.

069 / 365 – March 4th 2010 , Thursday, originally uploaded by morningsting.

playing with light, originally uploaded by jenhellyea.

By Majarani

I always thought that if my “ship came in” as it were, I would be in the water so fast, the sharks wouldn’t even know I was there.

The reality is not so immediate.

After a lifetime of broken trust and a broken heart. After being abandoned by my parents, the Department of Health and Human Services, by my “adoptive” family, then, finally by my husband I am pretty beaten up- on the inside.

The divorce was a two year battle, and finally, it has ended.

I am free.

A man I have known professionally for about a year, approached me, on the day of my divorce, professed his love, and promised me everything. He’s handsome, independently wealthy, his long term goals are the same as mine. We have a lot of fun when we hang out. I could have all the children I ever longed for, a good husband that could provide, family vacation, I could get that PhD…I don’t love him, I don’t know him that well yet- not on a real personal level. By the nature of our professional relationship he knows damn near everything about me.

I’ve been dating a guy for about a year. He’s awesome. We have fun. He’s affectionate. He never wants kids, will never get married again.

It seems like an easy choice.

It isn’t.