So, you know when you’ve been thinking about, working on and planning an event for months and months and maybe even over a year and then you have that event happen and it goes really great but then you find yourself getting kind of down and depressed but you aren’t sure why since there is nothing wrong? Ya. That. That is where I am right now. We’re a heartbeat away from staring at the ceiling for a week and not showering.

I’m crying at commercials and being moody at odd times. I’m excited to see the kids, but then when we’re together I can’t seem to really join in the conversation in the same way I usually do. When I go to sleep I spend hours running through ways I’m going to organize the linen closet or making sure I know where the large flashlights are in case the power goes out because we might have a huge earthquake. And then I cry because I feel so lonely until I finally fall asleep.

Oh, a big HELLO! to 1998 and September 2007 Leah. I can totally see you right there out of the corner of my eye. I know that if things continue as they are, I’ll be welcoming you to sit right down on the couch next to me and handcuffing our wrists together. Sorry, and don’t take this the wrong way – but, no! Go away! I don’t want to be friends again.