Brain waves scrambling at lightening speeds, stomach feeling like there is an egg frying in it; bubbling, popping, greasy, and hot.

There is no way to prepare yourself for all of life’s gunshots. Situations that have your heart wrapped up like a Vietnamese summer roll, nice and tight.

My recourse, my comfort has been to write, and asking others for help. I’m not good with the asking for help part, never have been. So far, I haven’t asked anyone for help but I know I am supposed to.

There are some things that not one person can help with, putting me in the boat of “beyond human aid”. I know that boat, and I know where to take it when I’m floating in it.

I remember the old adage, “tie a knot and hang on” and wonder if it came about from a person attempting to hang themselves. Or, how about “this too shall pass”? That’s a given, days will pass whether we like it or not.

It doesn’t remove the need to actually process the emotions that come up during times of darkness. The way of the Buddha, to embrace the feelings we have, no matter their internal temperature. Trying to remember to accept my life for what it is, rather than how I think it should be. Sure, that’s easy enough right?

Right, it is really that simple.

Find the gratitude, it’s always present right underneath the clouds.

Be here now.

Love.

Give.

Live.

Move forward, careful not to peek too much into the past.

Heal.

Love.

Write.