In a fit of pique at the library today I picked up hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons’s self-help book, cumbersomely titled Do You! 12 Laws to Access the Power in You to Achieve Happiness and Success. I like the way You is italicized; maybe my whole problem is that I never thought of myself in italics before. I noticed upon a quick skim that Never Quit is frequently capitalized, and there is a subhead called Your Ear Is an Embryo, which I thought was an idea worth exploring.

Because really, why not? What the fuck. You have to be careful with this self-help stuff–a wrong turn and you might end up in the Landmark Forum or hooked on Flylady or something–but at the same time the essence of surviving depression is the willingness to try to think differently: to endeavor to change the way your mind works, to rewire some of the synapses, to use more of the mighty forebrain and fewer of the dark, reptilian parts in the back. You have to do it. There is no choice. Russell Simmons will explain to me how my ear is an embryo, and I will decide whether to listen, whether to accept. I’ll probably be reminded of Krush Groove, particularly the scene when Rick Rubin is in his underpants. And who knows? Perhaps the advice of Russell Simmons will be like a large and expensive sneaker kicking me in the ass, in a good way.