I kept thinking you would turn out to be a good person. I really wanted you to be a good person. You are so very far from being a good person.

Sometimes, denial works to our benefit until we can handle the truth. There have been stories of abuse that I’ve read about, heard directly from a person’s mouth, or seen on television that trigger my denial to say, “there is no way this could possibly be true”.

I’ve done this with you, each time pushing away all the lies and games you’ve played in the past hoping that you’re finally going to be honest, and at least try to be healthy.

Then you would do something else that makes me wonder why I trusted you yet again. I wondered how many times I would continue to believe your “word” or your “story”, saying to myself each time, “this is the last time”. A definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over
expecting different results.

I know why it’s taken me so long to stop believing that there has to be something good about you, but to reveal that would give too much away. It is unfortunate for me that I have been unable to just walk away from you, as I would with anyone else.

You are mean, selfish, sad and a liar. You are a very sick person who has no idea the extent of harm you have inflicted.

Despite my long battle, finally I have “loosed” you. Your behavior used to hurt me deeply, but no more. You keep stabbing, reaching, trying but you no longer have any place in my peace of mind.

This is the public notification of your eviction, you no longer will be renting free space in my head.