Last week I was asked by a Real Mental reader to write about my decision to continue taking my antidepressants during my pregnancy. I’ve been reluctant to do so but if there was ever a place where I’m safe to write about these issues, it’s here. (Thank you Leah)

My depression was my main concern when my husband and I first decided to try to have a baby. I did a lot of reading and up to the point that I found out I was pregnant, I still hadn’t made a decision. I knew what my gut was telling me though and that was to stay on my medication.

I had two very distinct opinions from the doctors I saw during the first few weeks of my pregnancy. The first doctor I saw was a GP who I saw for the initial “just to be sure” blood test. When I asked him for his opinion about remaining on my antidepressant he was very firmly against it. I tried explaining some of my history to him but he wasn’t receptive- which was fine, it wasn’t his job to listen to my life story- but it left me feeling guilty and afraid. The most embarrassing part was his subsequent refusal to refill my prescription.

Based on the research I’d done I had a hard time understanding his reaction. There are risks associated with taking antidepressants during pregnancy but that risk is thought to be minimal. After having suffered through years of untreated depression, I knew what the risks would be if I stopped taking my medication.

A week after the initial doctor’s visit, I went to see my OBGYN. When I posed the same question to her she waved her hand at me and said, “Stay on you medication.” I started down my list of questions regarding the risks. She listened for a bit and then stopped me. She told me that there were risks no matter which decision I made but that she highly recommended that I continue to treat my depression.

That’s exactly what I did. I had plenty of fears about the possibility that the antidepressants might harm my baby, but I was more afraid of what might happen to both of us if I stopped taking them. I was afraid that halfway through the pregnancy I would end up a non-functioning, emotionally irrational, suicidal wreck. My fears were based on hard won experience.

I was also terrified that if I allowed myself to regress to this state I would not be able to care for my child once she was born. In retrospect I think that my decision to stay mentally healthy was most heavily influenced by my instinct to stay healthy for my baby.

It was a difficult decision but I am infinitely grateful that I chose to continue to treat my illness during my pregnancy. My baby is healthy and happy. Thankfully, I am in pretty good shape as well and am able to be an attentive and nurturing mother. I’ve said it before and it is worth repeating- I shudder to think where I’d be if I had made the decision to stop treating my illness.

It was the best decision for me, but I would never assume that it is the best decision for everyone suffering from depression. I think that I had to follow my instincts and not let guilt or social pressure influence me as I weighed my options. I had to stick to the facts.

For more information from actual professionals do a quick web-search on the topic. There is a plethora of helpful information out there.