People call me/I call myself Lourdes.

I see myself as slowly sinking into the dark, losing me, becoming someone I can’t recognize.

If I thought you cared and you were listening, I would tell you please stop pretending you care and are listening, you say the right words but your actions prove otherwise.

I am struggling with being the most miserable I have ever been. The overwhelming sadness is slowly killing me.

Something I have been keeping a secret is I can now understand why people cut them selves or choose to die. I wonder every day about suicide.

I am trying to think positive and something I’m good at is pretending all is well, and caring for all others more than myself.

I love my cat and t.

I want people to know that as crazy as I am feeling, somewhere there is still a glimmer of hope, a little itsy bitsy glimmer, but I do know it’s there.