Or a piercing. Or hair color. Or something. Something new. I just cut all my hair off and then pierced the top of my left ear and that will have to do because my kids tell me that anything else more radical is crossing some kind of ‘line’ and I’ll be that mom that doesn’t know when to quit while she’s ahead. ‘But my nose’, I tell them, ‘wouldn’t it look so cute with a tiny diamond right here?’ ‘No.’ they all agree.

This happens every year. My mania starts to go up and up and then I find myself looking for ways to reinvent myself. I’m on medication this year so it’s not as bad. I keep reminding myself – this year is not as bad. But I think so much about what new tattoo I would get. And where I would put it. And I wonder if it’s a ‘safe’ or ‘accepted’ way to self-harm and mutilate.

I’ve started quite a few new projects. I made 120 pieces of jewelry and 22 hats and then put up each item in an Etsy store. It took hours. I hope I sell enough to offset the amount of money I spent to get all the materials to make all of it. I was compulsively buying hundreds of dollars of findings and beads and chain (because I NEEDED it) and then staying up all night making things. And then I started writing a new book. And revising a children’s book I wrote 9 years ago. And organizing all the tiny jewelry parts into tiny containers according to color. No, wait. According to size. No, wait. How about by type?

The difference this year is that even though I’m starting a bunch of projects, I’m actually being able to follow though and finish them. And that is really different.