I can try all day long to explain to you what it is like. You would have some thoughts or opinions on the subject that you think would be helpful. I really wanted your thoughts and opinions to be helpful.

Yet, you would not completely understand unless you have walked the same path. The reason I know this is that I have been trying to explain it for a long time and I’ve been trying to find a logical solution to the drama.

I foolishly thought that other people could help solve the case. I really wanted these other people to help; I wanted it more than any one thing.

Pain is the greatest motivator, it forces you do something. That something isn’t always a positive action but it’s an action.

Sometimes you have to walk a long way in the other direction in order to see your true path. This could cause you to believe you’re previous steps were a mistake. Steps are never a mistake, they are like emotional foreplay for you to get where you need to go.

Time has been the only thing that gives me solace and answers. You know, “time”. How I despise that option sometimes. It doesn’t even feel like an option at all.

Something that I have learned is that my heart and my gut always know the truth. Despite this amazing ability to have truth reside within, the emotions always try and mask the answers. Emotions; we have them for a reason.

I know in my heart of hearts that she loves me. I know in my heart of hearts that no matter how hard you try and change that with your lies, contempt, and jealousy, she will still love me.

This relationship is not something you can control and it only serves to create a bigger wedge. Raising children is a big finger pointing back at ourselves. We must grow inside in order to provide all that we need to our children. We must overcome our petty jealousy, our animal like needs for immediate response.

I am a better person because of you. I would not have expected to ever utter those words, much less write them. You, my mortal enemy in a never ending battle. I wish you peace; love and whatever you need in order to bring you joy. By letting this go, I become free and I wish you the same.